Nature has her grip on me..

If you’ve been keeping your eye on my Instagram the last few weeks, it will be no surprise to hear that I’ve been navigating some sort of burnout/ overwhelm/ head fog. This could be a number of things... 

 It’s easy to paint a picture of success through those little squares but I want to keep it as real as possible. I have a lot on at the moment, and that’s mostly due to the amazing local community I joined late last year, Keep It Local. With these guys, I’ve been doing markets and pop ups, which has required a LOT of print runs, sourcing frames, labelling stock, creating originals etc. I also made it a goal to do a lot more markets this year, as these are the places, I make the most money right now.

 So it’s been a busy time recently, alongside creating new work, sourcing new stockists and also taking on a few commissions, but, I am nowhere near where I want to be. I don’t have wholesale figured out yet, I don’t have a wholesale catalogue that I’m confident enough to share yet, I don’t have a cohesive plan to actually make a consistent income from my business but I’m trying. I’m trying alongside working a part time job, looking after 2 kiddos and all the other things that comes alongside being an adult.

 I’ve been running at full pelt, and like anything, you can’t run at full speed forever, so I’ve come to a standstill. I’m overwhelmed, emotionally, creatively and physically. And I just feel like I want to stop. Which is bloody terrifying!!

 Whenever I feel like I want to stop, I just want space and that space usually takes the form of a field or a forest where I can sit and imagine how small I am in the grand scheme of the universe, which helps me to handle my mental overwhelm much easier. Something I’ve noticed recently though is how drawn to water I am. I’ve always been a water baby, always loved water whilst also being slightly terrified of the vastness it carries. At the moment though, I’m feeling such a strong pull toward finding water wherever we are. As a family we spend a lot of time outdoors. Going to the park, walking through the woods, heading to national trusts and whenever we’re outdoors together I can feel myself seeking out where the water is.

 We went to our usual spot in the woods last week and found a little stream we had never seen before full of some strange, other-worldly yellow flowers. I stood there and stared into the water for as long as it’s possible with 2 children around you and just watched the light bounce of the surface, listen to water trickle over the rocks and the sounds of children’s wellies splashing in it.

 I have felt the need to be near water and also listen to the sound of it so much that I googled what it could possibly mean, and I found out that water can trigger our parasympathetic nervous system. The parasympathetic nervous system is responsible for the bodies rest and digest response, which enables your heart rate and blood pressure to drop, stimulates your digestion and allows your body to relax. Which makes total sense given how stressed and anxious I have felt recently! I also think the older I get the more of a draw to nature I have and if you feel the same, listen to the Ffern podcast ‘As The Seasons Turn’. It’s a bloody gorgeous podcast released at the beginning of every month and points out all of the things to look out for in nature that month. I’ll pop a link to it below.

 Nature is my muse, but it’s been seeping into even more of my work than usual, it’s all I want to draw, paint, and make and I’m currently working on a few commissions which I can’t wait to share with you. I’m also working on something new for my email subscribers. A little freebie that I’ve been using a lot recently and one which I think will be useful with sorting out your thoughts, if like me, you have trouble navigating them!

If you want to follow along with what I’m working on at the moment, what event’s and markets I’m attending and receive some pretty, botanical, freebies then click the link below and drop your email in the box to keep up to date.